another call.
Just a direct text.
Mom, I’m drowning. Is there any way?
The dots appeared.
My heart did something stupid and hopeful.
Then the dots disappeared.
Nothing came.
Sitting in the parking garage afterward with the engine off, I realized I had stopped checking the driveway when I got home.
Stopped half listening for a car that might be my parents finally coming.
You don’t always notice when hope leaves.
You notice later that you have stopped listening.
That is its own kind of grief.
And it came before
