could hear the seriousness in their voices. My baby was so small that I was afraid to touch her.

For three weeks, the neonatal intensive care unit became our world.

Evan and I learned the routines of the hospital. We learned when to visit, how to read the monitors, and how to hold Lily carefully when the nurses said it was safe.

I memorized every detail of her face.

The curve of her nose.

Her tiny fingers.

The way her mouth moved when she slept.

Sometimes I sat beside her